Cover model: Felicia Musser
Photographer and cover designer: Author Sarah Alexander
Keda Spencer’s life changed twelve years ago. She met a boy and he stole her heart. The problem was, they were both broken. After learning about his life, she made a decision that would change both of them. Now, they are bound together. Even with miles separating them, she can still feel his heart beating in rhythm with hers.
She recently received news that could lead her back to him. Anticipation blossoms as it is only with him that she can be her true self. But her very next thought is filled with memories and dread takes over. She isn’t sure she can survive him again.
**Warning: This novel may cause triggers and is meant for readers 18 years of age and older.**
“I don’t know the first thing about your family or where you grew up. Hell, I don’t even know your middle name. I think I only know your last name by accident. My point is - I want to be someone you can trust. I am someone you can trust. I don’t want you to run away from me again. Can you give me even a glimpse of what happened to you yesterday? You seemed excited about going to the country club when we talked about it yesterday morning and then, for whatever reason, you freak on Dr. Johnson. Please, Keda. Please let me in.”
“If you want insight into what triggers memories, I can’t give that to you. I never know until it happens,” I reply, checking my watch. I have a little extra time before having to be at work. Feeling guilty about dragging him through my madness, I decide that maybe I can allow him a little glimpse. Maybe it will help him move forward. Maybe it will help me move forward. “Here, I want to show you something,” I say, turning to go back in the house.
As soon as the door is opened my heart begins pounding at the thought of him reading the letter. My palms begin sweating and I can’t seem to unlock the door. Stopping for a moment to gather myself, I’m finally able to unlock then push it open.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” I say, coming to a complete stop in front of him. I can feel his breath on my neck and before I know what’s happening, he wraps his arms around my waist. I want to pull away. I want to tell him to stop but I can’t. I wonder if he can hear my nerve endings singe as the electricity flows through me. His warmth is uncharacteristically soothing. My heart is relaxing but my mind speeds up.
“Is this all right?” he asks, in a hushed voice.
“No,” I reply, wishing he would move but glad when he doesn’t. He won’t remove his hands and I am reminded why I have stayed with him for as long as I have. As much as I want to fight him and his touch, he makes my body sing. I want to move out of his grasp but evidently my body needs him. His lips meet my neck and he pulls my body back so it is flush with his. “I need you to remember why we are together. I need you to remember, Keda. Will you do that for us? Will you remember? We are great together and you know it. I will not allow you to walk out of my life,” he says, between kisses.
I need to stop him before we go too far. It’s not fair to either of us if I let this continue. But I need his comfort. After last night, I need anything to take my mind somewhere else, somewhere that isn’t tainted with bad memories.
“Adam…” I say, breathlessly.
“Yeah, baby?” he replies, as his hands move from my sides to my stomach.
“Please help me forget,” I beg.
“No, baby, I’m going to help you remember,” he says, as he moves from behind me. My eyes move to his once he is facing me. I can’t stand for him to see me, for him to see my vulnerabilities and my transparencies. Comfort envelopes us as he kisses away my tears. His lips take away my deepest fears and my sadness then swallows them whole.
Guilt is dangerous.
It rules my life.
I am riddled with it.
After fifteen years, you would think it would lessen.
It hasn’t.
Drugs numb it, women relieve it.
But it always returns, stronger and heavier.
Always.
The light, it is refreshing.
It gets closer and I reach for it.
But it is always just out of my grasp.
Always.
It rules my life.
I am riddled with it.
After fifteen years, you would think it would lessen.
It hasn’t.
Drugs numb it, women relieve it.
But it always returns, stronger and heavier.
Always.
The light, it is refreshing.
It gets closer and I reach for it.
But it is always just out of my grasp.
Always.
☆*••☆Damaged Perfection: Perfection #1☆*••☆
Two people. Two very different pasts. One very hopeful future.
Fenton watches his life crumble as his past comes back to haunt him. He’s searching for his friend’s murderer while trying to keep the people he cares about safe. He’s teetering on the edge and isn’t sure how to step away. Will he survive his addiction to drugs, women and revenge? Or will he be swallowed whole by them?
Piper has found herself being swept up in the storm that is Fenton. She knows he has the potential to cause her major heartache but she can’t stay away. He’s brought passion, excitement and happiness to her life. But she’s watching him walk a dangerous path. Will she survive him and his demons? Or will she drown in his current?
Fenton watches his life crumble as his past comes back to haunt him. He’s searching for his friend’s murderer while trying to keep the people he cares about safe. He’s teetering on the edge and isn’t sure how to step away. Will he survive his addiction to drugs, women and revenge? Or will he be swallowed whole by them?
Piper has found herself being swept up in the storm that is Fenton. She knows he has the potential to cause her major heartache but she can’t stay away. He’s brought passion, excitement and happiness to her life. But she’s watching him walk a dangerous path. Will she survive him and his demons? Or will she drown in his current?
☆*••☆Resisting Perfection: Perfection #2☆*••☆
Nicki is the author of Lather, the first book in The Moore Series and soon to be released novel, Damaged Perfection. She is a born Buckeye turned Hoosier who loves to spend time with her family. Along with being an avid reader, she also loves animals and the Indianapolis Colts!
Twitter: @authornickirae
TSU: @nickirae
